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| "Oh, do you have business in the kitchen? Fuck you." |
Biggie is an 8ish-year-old pug. He enjoys eating, being bossy, and hating birds.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
I roll over FOR A SECOND
No, that's fine. Just put your butt-hole where I rest my face at night and stare intensely at nothing.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Biggie was being mischievous
It may be apparent by these posts that I do not have complete control over Biggie.
I have basic commands and outlines that he follows. He knows "No Licking" in the middle of the night means he has to stop licking his paws or risk being blanket-tossed onto the floor, "AAARGH" means "get away from me", and "c'mere" means "come be the little spoon."
Everything else to him is apparently optional. He's constantly testing to see if the same rules still apply each day.
So perhaps it's a bit foolish of me to walk him without a leash but I trust him to trust me and we've never had an incident. He knows "heel", "come", and "stay" but if he's sniffing something or feeling rascally he ignores me (pug translation: "fuck you") and it is infuriating.
Here's a video of him blatantly disobeying the basic "heel" command:
Sometimes, because pugs are a genetic abomination, his stunted body betrays him and he is served his comeuppance.
Biggie was defiantly lingering around some overturned sod and ignoring my calls to him. I raised my voice and made a (totally flaccid) threatening stomp in his direction. He went to spring away from the clump and me but tripped, sending all four legs away from each other and his jaw into the dirt. When he tried to right himself he tripped again and hit his chin off the ground. I laughed into his dumb face.
See all that dirt? In his lip? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
He still had the last laugh though because I had to take care of a hanging chad and he loved every disgusting second of it.
I have basic commands and outlines that he follows. He knows "No Licking" in the middle of the night means he has to stop licking his paws or risk being blanket-tossed onto the floor, "AAARGH" means "get away from me", and "c'mere" means "come be the little spoon."
Everything else to him is apparently optional. He's constantly testing to see if the same rules still apply each day.
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| "Mmm. You say somethin', bitch?" |
So perhaps it's a bit foolish of me to walk him without a leash but I trust him to trust me and we've never had an incident. He knows "heel", "come", and "stay" but if he's sniffing something or feeling rascally he ignores me (pug translation: "fuck you") and it is infuriating.
Here's a video of him blatantly disobeying the basic "heel" command:
Sometimes, because pugs are a genetic abomination, his stunted body betrays him and he is served his comeuppance.
Biggie was defiantly lingering around some overturned sod and ignoring my calls to him. I raised my voice and made a (totally flaccid) threatening stomp in his direction. He went to spring away from the clump and me but tripped, sending all four legs away from each other and his jaw into the dirt. When he tried to right himself he tripped again and hit his chin off the ground. I laughed into his dumb face.
See all that dirt? In his lip? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
He still had the last laugh though because I had to take care of a hanging chad and he loved every disgusting second of it.
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