Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Biggie... What are you... I don't even...

   Biggie and I got up yesterday, had our walk, and I fed him his normal breakfast of half a cup of kibble and a splash of soy milk or olive oil.

   Later, while cleaning up the living room, Biggie was sulking by his empty food bowl looking extra-pathetic. I thought, "Meh, I'll give him a little scoop to tide him over until supper."

   That was a huge mistake.

   About two hours later, he targeted Elliott and received another little scoop.

   A couple hours after his regular supper time passed I fed him his regular meal. And then I didn't really hear from him.

"Psst. Look, Dane". Elliott had sneaked into the living room and was pointing at the couch over my shoulder.

I turned to this bloated and guilty piece of haggis:

Each time I checked on him he had rolled into a different position trying to compensate for his swollen belly. 

  So bloated that he can't balance on that horrible pillow.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Biggie is...

... just gross.

side note: please notice that he's bullied away half the chair from me.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

When Biggie sees me naked...

what?.. the fuck?

Biggie kind of looks like...

... this 1982 E.T. doll.

There are very strict rules regarding the E.T. doll. Specifically, Biggie and I are not allowed to play with it.

  But Elliott can't be watching all the time...

delicious defiance

Friday, October 5, 2012

Biggie is...

... spoiled rotten.

   I bought this awesome contraption at our local pet store. It was a gift for Elliott because we were trudging back and forth from our house to his brother's and it was wearing out our tender prince. Elliott has never used it but I have twice. Also, once alone at home because... just because.

   You're supposed to wear it around the front of you because it's cruel not to (hippie nonsense). He's already not walking, though, so fuck him.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Biggie hates... - A preview-

... when Elliott leaves the house.

Do you see him uncomfortably shifting his weight when he first notices Elliott lingering near the door?

He's only leaving to get his laundry. I don't know if Biggie's barking because he feels betrayed, or he's angry, or he doesn't want him to go...
The mind of a pug is a very mysterious and complicated thing.




... claims everything as his own.


Tuesday, October 2, 2012


... is the overlord of this manor.

When Elliott and I are working away (read: eating pasta with our fingers) in the office Biggie is incredibly uncomfortable at floor-level. He pesters us by prodding us with his paw, standing up on his hind legs and digging his talons into our knees, or just refusing to lie still.

The only, and the most humiliating, solution is to put his dog bed on the desk and work around him.

This is while Elliott still had pasta left. What a pest.
Even after all the people-food was gone he settled in and is still breathing heavily at me while I'm trying to type.

fresh after a traumatizing nail-clipping session (see jags)

We're just players in this asshole's life.

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