I have slept on that pillow and it's like sleeping on a burlap sack stuffed with under-ripe avocados.
I don't know where this weird spirit of competitiveness comes from. Just because you're up there doesn't mean you're better than me, canine.
Look at him... passive aggressively smelling his forearm. What a jerk.
LOOK AT THESE CLAWS.
Stay tuned for video. It'll show exactly why his nails are so incredibly long (spoiler: it's because he completely runs this household).